


Beep Boop

by WrathoftheStag (Mwuahna)



Series: Parenthood, Please! [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Artificial Insemination, Childhood, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA, M/M, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Travel, but parse was being not so nice, chapter 7 is not so nice to parse, check please domestic fluff, check please parenthood, jack and bitty are married, jack and bitty become parents, jack x bitty, so much domestic fluff, zimbits - Freeform, zimbits fluff, zimbits future fic, zimbits marriage, zimbits parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-15 21:01:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9257078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mwuahna/pseuds/WrathoftheStag
Summary: A future fic where Jack and Bitty have been married for four years and decide to become parents.  They have a house, a cat, a dog, and now they want a child.  So much fluff, you have no idea.  Lots of fluff, with a bit of smut thrown in for good measure. No angst, no drama -- just love and fluff.





	1. Chapter 1

**Madison, Georgia. 2000**

_”And what does your daddy do?”_

_“Football coach.”_

_“I bet you wanna be a football coach, too, when you grow up."_

_“No, ma’am.”_

_“No? Well what do you wanna be?”_

_“I wanna makes pies! And I wanna be a daddy, too.”_

**Montreal, Quebec. 2002**

_His first game in the minor leagues, and he blew it. He absolutely blew it. Jack threw his helmet against the wall and held his head in his hands. He fought hard to regulate his breathing, but already knew it was an uphill battle._

_The losing wasn’t so bad. It was facing papa. That was...well, for now, all he could do was breathe. Just try to breathe and fight back the tears that he could feel coming up from the back of his throat, punching their way forward._

_He was a terrible son. And now he’d have to face papa’s disappointed face._

_“I hope I never have kids, so no one has to ever feel this way about me,” he said as he swallowed down a sob._

**+++**

Four years into their marriage, Jack and Bitty were traversing the park during one of their early morning runs. Married life had come easy to them. As throughout most of their relationship, Jack never had a doubt, for once he let Bitty into his routine, his life, his heart, there was never any hesitation. Bitty was always the truth. Bitty was happiness. Bitty was home. So as they were taking their morning run through Prospect Park, it happened.

A woman ran past them with a jogging stroller, and then slowed down to take a drink of water. Her son, about a year old, tossed a stuffed giraffe out the side without her noticing and she began to jog away. Bitty saw, and ran after them.

“Bits?” 

“Wait!” Bitty called out, holding the giraffe. “Wait!”

He caught up to them.

“Carlos, did you drop Mr. G?”

“Hi, honey,” Bitty said as he returned Mr. G go his rightful owner.

“Thanks so much.”

“No problem. I know that if I would have lost Señor Bun I would have been devastated.

The mom smiled warmly.

“How old is he?” Bitty asked lowering onto his haunches to smile at Carlos.

“Fourteen months.”

“What a cutie pie,” Bitty said softly.

Jack watched from where he stood. He watched Bitty chat effortlessly with a complete stranger. He watched and something inside him suddenly shifted. As Bitty made funny faces at the baby, and laughed while the baby reached out for him, Jack was hit with a realization so strong, it made his breath hitch. It was something he never expected, but now made all the sense in the world.

Later that night, as Bitty straddled Jack, slowly working himself on him -- each pull and each push delicious and slow, Jack looked up at Bitty and stroked his face.

“Let’s have a baby.”

Bitty stilled immediately, opened his eyes and looked down at Jack.

“Honey, uh… you know this isn’t how babies are made, right?”

“Haha,” Jack said and smiled. “Bits, I’m serious.”

“Mood killer,” Bitty said as he got off, sat on his knees next to Jack, and studied him intently. 

“Oh my lord. You _are_ serious.”

Jack sat up, leaning against the headboard. “Yes. Don’t you want to have a family, Bits? With me?”

“Jack, I’m not even 30 yet and during the season, you’re gone so much, and…”

And then Bitty closed his eyes and remembered certain feelings he’d been having lately. 

There was his cousin Marlene’s baby, Brittany, whom he couldn’t put down; the kids he coached in his peewee league and how much they made him laugh; the woman at the park; the wistful gazes at baby clothes whenever he’d shop at Target; and then he discovered that he _wanted_ a baby with Jack. 

And he wanted one now. 

In fact, there was nothing he wanted more than to hold a tiny Zimmermann in his arms and breathe in their scent, covering them with kisses, and a million years of love.

“Oh my god… Jack?”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s have a baby.”

“I love you, Bits.”

“I love you!”

Bitty flung himself onto Jack, and the two began laughing.

**+++**

In the most diplomatic of ways, Jack and Bitty tossed a coin to decide who would be the sperm donor for their first child.

“Heads, it’s me.”

“Tails, me.”

The coin flew into the air and Jack and Bitty watched as it hit the edge of the kitchen counter on the way down, each one expecting the other to catch it. It bounced, and then rolled across the floor.

Bitty and Jack dropped to all fours and crawled after it, watching as it crashed into the wall, spun around and then landed on heads.

Celly wagged his tail as he nosed the coin and stood next to his masters, while Goon mewed once and looked on from a kitchen chair unimpressed.

“I guess you have a date with a cup, honey,” Bitty said.

Jack grinned and blushed as Bitty kissed his cheek.

**+++**

“Maman?”

“Sweethearts, it’s so good to see you both. I was going to call you tomorrow, actually. I know how busy you’ve been.”

“Hi maman,” Bitty said waving.

Alicia pressed a kiss onto her hand and then touched the screen.

Jack cleared his throat and said, “Eric and I have something very important we want to tell you. Is papa around?”

Alicia furrowed her brow, and looked at Jack and Bitty. 

“Yes, let me go get him.”

Bitty watched as she quickly got up from her chair and ran to get Bob. He could hear her voice, sounding strained, “Bobby? The boys are on Skype. Hurry!”

Bitty whispered, “We should have said it’s nothing bad or serious. Look at her, she’s freaking out.”

“She’ll be fine in a moment,” Jack whispered back.

Bob was wearing an apron decorated with tiny hockey stick and wiping his hands as he came into frame.

“Hi, boys.”

“Hi, papa,” Jack and Bitty said in unison.

“So,” Jack said, “we have some good news.”


	2. Chapter 2

The process of getting a surrogate had been fairly simple. It surprised Bitty and Jack just how easy it had been, really. Jack had enough money to burn a wet mule, and this was the only time in their entire relationship Bitty was happy to have Jack’s wealth available to throw around.

_Age: 29, 34_

_Occupation: Business Owner, Professional Athlete_

_Marital Status: Married, Married_

_Annual Income: Yes, $11.5 million_

“Why’d you put ‘yes’ in your section?” Jack asked as he took a sip of his coffee.

Bitty gripped the clipboard and said, “Sweetheart, all I have to do is list your Lotto winnings and the agency could really give a rat’s ass what I make. I may as well write _jelly beans_ in my section for all they’ll care.”

_Family healthy history: Wonky baby eyes_

“Seriously, Bittle?”

Bitty smirked, “I’m just being honest.”

“Then maybe you should add _short_ in there.”

Bitty laughed.

Their counselor, Ms. Beech, had said to them, “You’re very fortunate we’re in Rhode Island. This is a good state to be in. Since Jack will be genetically related to the child and you’re married, both of you will be declared the legal parents in a pre-birth order.”

Jack and Bitty held hands, and smiled at one another.

Applications were filled, interviews were had, finances were paid… soon the Bittle Zimmermann household was on the waitlist for a surrogate.

**+++**

Bitty looked though binder after binder of potential surrogates.

“Lord,” Bitty sighed, “This feels weird. Like we’re shopping for a baby mama.”

Jack looked over at Bitty and asked, “Well how else do you want to do it, Bits?”

“It just feels so odd. As if we’re checking their pedigrees and picking the best of the litter. It seems so dehumanizing.”

“Bits, we’re not doing this against their will. These women want to help us and others.”

“I know,” he sighed, and then stopped on the page of a very pretty redhead. “Okay, she played hockey in college.”

“I think we’re all set on the hockey gene, eh?”

“I guess you’re right,” Bitty laughed.

They perused page after page of young women, many younger than Bitty. After three binders, and three cups of coffee each, Bitty and Jack were practically vibrating.

“It’s rare to find someone you feel a connection with on the first go,” Ms. Beech said over her reading glasses. “But you have my word that all of these women are wonderful, wonderful people. I’ll get another book.”

Jack exhaled loudly as Bitty gently rubbed circles on his back.

“I shouldn’t be this frustrated,” Jack said.

“I know baby, I know.”

“We’re lucky we’re even getting this shot, Bits. So I should be grateful.”

“I know, honey. _I know._ ”

Ms. Beech returned. “One more,” she said. “I’m going to get you two some sparkling water.”

“Thank you, Ms. Beech,” Bitty said with a big smile. Bitty looked at Jack then began talking about fate and how the right mama was out there for them. Jack nodded as he turned the pages, and then he saw her.

She looked like Bitty: small, soft blonde hair, big brown eyes, a huge open smile.

“Bits,” Jack said as he reached for Bitty’s hand.

Bitty looked silently over Jack’s shoulder as he read, “She’s from Atlanta, graduated from the University of Georgia with a degree in history. Her hobbies include baking, running, and reading but her most favorite thing to do is spend time with her girlfriend.”

“Are you kidding me? Is that for real?” Bitty asked, voice breathy.

Ms. Beech returned and put down two glasses of water in front of them, “Oh, Margaret LeFleur. She’s very nice. So bright, too.”

Jack and Bitty looked at each other as Ms. Beech continued, “She hasn’t been a surrogate yet, but she specifically said she’d only surrogate for same sex couples.”

Bitty felt his eyes begin to fill with tears, “We want to meet her.”

**+++**

“Giselle. Isn’t it pretty?”

“I like it, Bits,” Jack said as Bitty served everyone more pancakes.

Lardo raised her eyebrow along with her coffee cup, but remained silent.

“It’s French! So it honors your heritage and I’ve always liked it. I mean we like Clara and Penelope, too -- so we can still think about it. Just tossing it in for consideration.”

“Clara is cool,” Lardo said. “Bits, I keep meaning to tell you -- if you start a daddy vlog, I may have to kill you. You’ve been warned. You don’t want Jack to be a single father, do you?”

Shitty interrupted and said, “What about Shittina?”

Lardo snorted, as Jack shook his head.

“Shittina? Ha...yeah, uh no. That’s a big no,” Bitty said as he sat down and grabbed his napkin.

“Bits, as long as we don’t name her Jacqueline or whatever, I’ll like any name you like.”

“Little Jacqueline Erica,” Shitty bellowed. “I love it! Yeah, no pressure kid. You’re just named after your fathers -- but I’m sure you’ll still have your own identity. And that’s not peacocking _at all_.”

“Shittina…” Bitty said laughing into his coffee cup, shaking his head.

Jack leaned over and kissed Bitty on the temple, then said, “Giselle. I actually really do like it. Giselle what?”

“What do you mean?” Bitty asked. “Middle name? I don’t know…” 

“Her last name.”

“Oh…” Bitty looked up at Jack. “I just assumed she’d be a Zimmermann.”

“Why?” Shitty asked. “I mean, it’s none of my fucking business, but why?”

Then Jack added, “Yeah, Bits. Why?”

Bitty looked down at his plate, then back at Jack, “I don’t know. I mean…”

“Bitty, she’s going to be _our_ daughter. Not just mine. You’ll be her daddy. I just meant if she’d be Bittle-Zimmermann, or Zimmermann-Bittle.”

Bitty smiled, tears instantly spiking his lashes, “ _Daddy_?”

“Yes. You are _Giselle’s_ daddy.”

Bitty leaned over and planted several kisses on Jack’s face. “Okay, papa.”

“I’m going to need a moment here,” Shitty said, voice trembling a bit.

“Good lord, look at me,” Bitty said fanning his face with both hands. “I’m so emotional and a mess at the drop of a hat.”

“While this is all _very_ heartwarming,” Lardo said, “I feel it’s my duty to casually drop the fact here that Giselle is Beyoncé’s middle name. Just an FYI, bro.”

Shitty let out a loud, “Ha!” He pointed at Bitty and began to laugh, “Trying to pull one over on Jack. Nice!”

Jack turned to Bitty who immediately said, “What? No! I mean… hey, handsome! I love you.”

**+++**

Alicia and Bitty were sitting in the living room, going through wallpaper books while Bob and Jack were outside on the rink.

“I think the animal menagerie pattern is adorable, Eric.”

“Isn’t it? That’s the one I was leaning toward. I’m still going with a lavender and mint green color scheme for her room, so that wallpaper fits just right. The room will be almost as beautiful as our baby girl, maman.”

Alicia took her glass of wine from the table and then quickly muttered, “Uh huh,” and nodded as she took a very long drink.

Bitty smiled and sighed softly as he looked at the wallpaper swatch.

**+**

Shitty met Lardo outside Tadpole with two cups of coffee.

“Hey, babe,” he said as he handed her a cup.

She saluted him and took a sip, and sighed, “Yeah, that’s the stuff.” She then smiled and leaned in for kiss. 

Shitty gently kissed her nose.

“All right now. Don’t get all sappy on me, Shits.”

They entered the shop and Shitty gave an exaggerated whistle and asked, “Is this shop for trustafarian babies?”

Lardo shrugged. “I don’t know! I looked up kids’ shops online and this was the first one that came up." 

“Swanky,” Shitty said as he looked around.

“So did you narrow down what you’re getting for the blessed broby shower?” Lardo asked as they walked around the boutique. 

“The fuck’s a broby shower?” Shitty said as he shook a rattle on the counter, then put it back down.

“Well since Holster and Rans are planning the baby shower, they decided to call it a _broby_ shower, like a couple of morons.”

Shitty snorted, then looked overwhelmed. “I don’t know? A tiny helmet? A copy of _The Feminine Mystique_? Help me out here.”

Lardo picked up a small black knitted cap decorated with white skulls. She smiled, in spite of herself and said, “That baby is going to be super fucking cute.”

Shitty raised both eyebrows and said, “Uh...yeah, okay.”

“What do you mean ‘uh...yeah?’” Lardo then stopped herself and put the cap back down. “Oh...yeah, right.”

Shitty nodded and they kept walking around the shop.

**+**

Jack and Bitty were at the register paying for their car seat. Jack had spent all afternoon researching which one had the highest safety rating. 

In the end, he settled for the Peg Perego Primo Viaggio car seat which Consumer Digest had given a five star rating.

“It has a five star rating, Bits.”

“I believe you.”

“It’s true.” 

“I know, honey.”

“It has multiple anchor points.”

“Is that so?”

“I checked four different websites.”

“Mmm-hmm…”

The cashier smiled at them. “Your baby is going to be just gorgeous. I can already tell.”

Jack handed over his credit card and said very matter-of-factly, “Probably not at first. I was a very ugly baby. But we’ll love her anyway.”

Bitty swallowed his gum.


	3. Chapter 3

“Margaret’s in labor,” Bitty said getting off the phone with Ms. Beech.

Jack rolled over in bed, and sat up quickly looking at Bits. His hair fell over his forehead.

“She is?”

Bitty stood with his cell phone still in his hand, looking momentarily stunned, then nodded. 

“Bits, she’s coming.”

Bitty’s eyes shone with quickly forming tears, “She’s coming.”

**+**

Bitty and Jack drove to Miriam Hospital and found Ms. Beech already waiting for them. By the time they arrived, Margaret’s contractions were about 15 minutes apart and she was three centimeters dilated.

“How is she?” Jack asked; Bitty gripped his arm as they stood near Margaret’s room.

“Good! She said she doesn’t want an epidural.”

“Badass!” Bitty said beaming. “Can we see her?”

“Of course. She’s been asking for you.”

They followed Ms. Beech inside.

Margaret was on her side, giving a low moan and when she opened her eyes, she saw Jack and Bitty standing there.

“There they are,” she said, exhaling slowly. “There are my guys.”

Bitty walked over and got on his knees. In the past nine months as they’d gotten to know Margaret, she quickly became a good friend, a soulmate of sorts. Bitty was sad that they wouldn’t be keeping in touch after this was over.

**+++**

“Holy shit, it’s really you. Jack freaking Zimmermann,” Margaret said the first time they met. 

Jack blushed and extended his hand, “Nice to meet you.”

Bitty playfully rolled his eyes and then winked at Margaret, “Yeah, but while he may be the gorgeous successful one, I’m the fun one.” 

“Clearly,” she said winking back, “But don’t sell yourself short, honey. You’re pretty cute.” 

Bitty laughed. He liked her instantly.

They had had brunch and shared life stories.

“And I was sobbing like an idiot when Jack marched in, all sweaty and unsure and adorable. Then he planted a good one on me.”

“Goodness,” Margaret laughed. “I wouldn’t have pictured you for a go-for-broke romantic, Jack.”

“Right?” Bitty said.

“I feel as though you are both ganging up on me. This is how it’s going to be, eh?”

Bitty and Margaret nodded and smiled. Jack marveled at how similar they looked -- even their mannerisms were eerily the same. It felt good to Jack. It felt right.

The artificial insemination took on the first try.

Ms. Beech called while Jack was on a roadie.

“Eric? It’s me, Ms. Beech.”

Bitty froze and then wiped his hands on the kitchen towel hanging from his Bitty’s Boulangerie apron as he balanced the phone on his shoulder and ear. He was in the middle of making a batch of snickerdoodles. Wednesdays were Snickerdoodle Wednesdays at the bakery.

“Hi, Ms. Beech.”

“Is Jack around as well?”

“No, he’s on this way to St. Louis right now, and I’m at the bakery.”

“Well, I suppose I could just tell you now. Congratulations are in order, Eric. Margaret is pregnant.”

Bitty felt the immediate prickling of his throat as he bit his lower lip.

“Eric?”

“Yes, I’m here,” he croaked out.

“You’re going to be a father.”

“She’s pregnant?”

“Yes, Eric. I’m so happy for you both.”

His shoulders shook as he quietly sobbed.

“Thank you, Ms. Beech. Thank you so much! How is Margaret doing?” he asked as he leaned against the bakery counter.

“Well! She’s really well. She’s excited for you both.”

“Oh, gosh. Can I… I mean, I’d love to send her a pie. Or some cookies? Or both?”

Ms. Beech laughed, “I’m sure she’ll gladly take them. Just send them here to the agency, and we’ll make sure she’ll get them.”

When they hung up, Bitty plopped down onto the floor, still not sure how this was real.

“You okay, boss?” Michael called from the register upon seeing Bitty on the floor.

Bitty let a giant laugh rip from his body, “Yes! Amazing, in fact.”

He got up and yelled, “Free donuts for everyone!”

All the patrons cheered as Bitty ran from table to table, depositing a chocolate praline donut on everyone’s plate.

**+++**

Jack was home by seven the next evening.

When he opened the front door, everything was quiet and for the most part, dark.

“Bits?” he asked, plopping his suitcase on the ground. “Bits?”

“In the bedroom.”

Jack took off his shoes and slowly walked upstairs.

When he entered their bedroom, he found Bitty on the bed, naked, waiting. Jack swallowed. Even after all this time, the sight of Bitty naked and becoming undone still made Jack speechless. 

All of that loveliness, just for him.

“What’s this?” Jack asked as a slow smile spread across his face.

“I just wanted to give you a special welcome home.”

“Everytime I come home to you is special, Bits,” Jack said as he climbed onto the bed and knelt in front of Bitty.

“You always been this mushy, sweet boy?” Bitty asked sitting up and unbuttoning Jack’s shirt.

“Only with you.”

“Oh, lord,” Bitty said rolling his eyes. “Then heaven help anyone else who isn’t me.”

“Haha,” Jack said as he leaned in and kissed Bitty. Bitty’s mouth instantly opened for Jack, inviting him into everything he was. 

Right away, it was so much––too much. For when it came to Bitty, Jack always felt himself drowning in Bitty, but he loved it. He loved the overpowering sensation that was Eric Bittle. He loved how it made him feel as though he were both afloat in space and as grounded as he had ever been in his entire life. Bitty was his cosmos, his universe, the eternal yes. And that was all there was to it.

Bitty rose to his knees and leaned in. His erection insistently pressed into Jack. Jack then took Bitty by the waist and pulled him down into his lap.

“You have too many damn clothes on, _mon cœur_ ,” Bitty said into Jack’s mouth.

Jack’s breath hitched. Bitty’s French was still bad and his pronunciation would always be awful, but lord help Jack Laurent Zimmermann. Anytime Bitty spoke French, Jack was a goner.

Jack quickly unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and got up to remove his pants, all without breaking the kiss. 

Once he was standing, Bitty took the opportunity to grab Jack and toss him onto the bed where he landed with a one quick bounce. It thrilled Jack more than he could say anytime Bitty took charge like that.

“You know,” Bitty said as he began stroking Jack’s cock, “We won’t be able to do this whenever we want to much longer. I won’t be able to take you––take you in the kitchen, in the living room, on the hallway floor.”

Jack’s eyes closed as he arched into Bitty, surprised he was able to get out a, “Why?”

Bitty licked into Jack's ear and said, "Soon, we'll have to be quiet. So very quiet. So we won't wake up the baby. "

Jack stilled, and opened his eyes and looked up at Bitty. "The... baby?"

Bitty smiled, a bright thing, and nodded. "Yes, the baby. Ms. Beech called yesterday. "

"Bits?"

Bitty nodded again. "We're having a baby, Jack."

Jack laughed, and Bitty silenced that laughter with a big wet kiss.

“We’re having a baby,” Bitty whispered. “Oh my god, Jack.”

“I love you, Bits.”

“I love you, papa.”

And they both laughed till Bitty leaned over to kiss Jack deeply, and the laughter stopped once again.

After they were done and Bitty had fucked Jack into the mattress to the point where Jack’s mind went completely blank only to come back with Bitty’s name on his lips, the two stilled, calming their breaths, quietly sighing.

“How did we get here?” Bitty asked, shivering slightly, hair damp and matted.

“We were lucky,” Jack said as he wiped Bitty’s sweat-drenched forehead. “Very lucky.” 

He pressed a kiss into Bitty’s hair. Soon the two were fast asleep, hands tangled together.

**+++**

“You’re almost ten centimeters dilated,” Dr. Rodriguez said. “Looking good, Margaret.” The doctor turned to Jack and Bitty and said, “It won’t be long now.”

“Thanks, Doctor,” Margaret said as she gritted her teeth when another contraction came in. They were now less than five minutes apart.

“Oh, honey. Was that one real bad?”

“Like being checked into next week, _hard_ , Bitty.”

Jack smiled as Bitty said, “Look at you! Using hockey lingo.”

“You’re still gonna sing Johnny Cash to me when I’m crowning, Bitty?”

Bitty laughed, “If that’s what you want, sweetheart. I will belt out _Ring of Fire_ for as long as you need.”

Margaret gave Bitty and Jack a meager thumbs up, then suddenly closed her eyes as she huffed through another contraction and yelled out, “What the puck?!” 

“Good one,” Jack said. 

He smiled, clearly proud of Margaret. 

**+++**

Giselle Bittle-Zimmermann was born on a snowy November morning at 4:45 a.m. as her fathers, Jack Zimmermann and Eric Bittle, watched her come into the world. And for that moment when Jack and Bitty first saw her, everything stopped.

Jack doesn’t say anything at first but then quietly dropped a sweet, “ _Bonjour_.” The tears rolling down his face spoke volumes. 

Bitty was openly sobbing, and instantly declared Giselle the sweetest, most beautiful girl on this planet.

Bitty and Jack held one another as Giselle cried and then looked toward them both. Blonde with eyes as big as Bitty’s and the same quiet blue as Jack’s, Giselle showed an alertness about her. She knows she is loved. She knows it.

“Do you want to cut the cord?” Dr. Rodriguez asked. They both nodded mutely.

“Congratulations, proud daddies,” Margaret whispered to them.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Bitty sighed. “We couldn’t have done with without you.”

Margaret tried not to cry, feeling alone for the first time in nine months, unprepared for this sudden melancholy.

But then she looked over at Eric and Jack, how they were both already hopelessly in love with the human being they were staring at in awe. And in that moment, she immediately ceased to be Margaret’s daughter. DNA became irrelevant. This love she was witnessing, this love she’d been privileged to see before her was everything.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>   
> 

When Jack and Bitty went out to the waiting room, Lardo was the first person to see them. Shitty, asleep with a crumpled hospital _USA Today_ newspaper draped over his face, was startled awake when Lardo elbowed him.

Alicia and Bob (or rather grand-maman and grand-papa) were currently at the airport in Montréal, en route, while Suzanne and Coach (that is memaw and...well, Coach) were coming in the day after tomorrow.

“She’s here!” Bitty said. 

“All right! I’m an uncle! Uncle Shitty!” Shitty yelled as he jumped up and hugged Jack. “Brah, you’re a pop!”

Just then, Chowder came stumbling in, bleary-eyed with a rolling suitcase and carrying a giant stuffed shark under his arm. 

“Am I too late? I came straight from the airport.”

“No, she’s not going anywhere,” Jack said with a smile.

“Chowder, sweetheart! You didn’t have to fly in,” Bitty said as he hugged Chris.

“And miss my niece’s grand entrance? What kind of an Uncle Chowder would I be?”

Lardo and Bitty held on to each other, as Lardo said, “Well she might have a millions uncles, but at least I’ll be the only auntie.”

Shitty then called out loudly, “Gather ‘round, gather ‘round.” 

He reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out several cigars, handing one to everyone there.

“Cigars?” Bitty asked.

“Cubans!” Shitty said, his already hanging out of the corner of his mouth.

“Dude, this seems like such a douchey traditional male thing,” Lardo said holding the cigar in her hand.

“I don’t smoke,” Chowder said softly.

“Ah, but see my dear Lardorini, I am turning this tradition on its ear by reclaiming it as our own. It is now a celebration of love. Man love!”

Bitty snorted, “Bless your heart.”

Shitty continued, “And, because Cuba is trying to be a functioning socialist democracy I felt the need to support them––so there’s that.”

Shitty patted Jack vigorously on the back, as he handed him a cigar.

**+++**

“She’s cute, isn’t she?” Jack beamed. 

“She’s a fucking beaut,” Shitty said looking at Jack look at the baby. He continued, “Brah, how in the world does she look like Bitty? And she looks like you. It’s 'swasome.”

“Isn’t it?”

“But her eyes are that Jack blue. Ha! Jack blue, kind of sounds like a swear word!”

Jack smirked, as they both continued to loom over Giselle’s bassinet in the living room. Shitty reached out slowly and booped her nose as he quietly said, “Boop.”

Giselle began to fuss, so Jack reached in and gingerly scooped her out. His enormous hands as gentle as they’ve ever been. She curled into Jack’s shoulder. A tiny thing, protected by a giant.

“You two are like Rocket and Groot,” Lardo called out from the kitchen. 

Alicia was at the oven with Bitty who had been showing her how to make cinnamon rolls. She leaned in and kissed Bitty on the cheek, then called out, “Jack, bring me my granddaughter.”

Bob was beaming and standing with Shitty and Jack, admiring Giselle who was in the middle of a very impressive yawn. Shitty booped her nose once again.

“Holy shit!” Shitty said with a grin. “I’ve got it!” 

“What?” Bob said, never taking his eyes off Giselle.

“Her nickname,” Shitty said and he booped her nose once again.

Bitty ran into the room, “Wait! I wanna hear.” Lardo ran in behind him.

“I hereby declare thee...Beep Boop.”

Lardo and Bitty both said in unison, “Exception to the rule.”

“Beep Boop?” Jack said.

“Dude, yes. Yesssss. Beep Boop. Her Uncle Shitty has declared it so.” He pumped a fist into the air.

“Oh, and um, Shitty?” Bitty said wringing his hands together, “While you know we _adore_ you, Shitty, honey, we just can’t have our baby girl call you Uncle Shitty.”

Shitty frowned, “What? Why not.”

Alicia came and took Giselle -- or rather Beep Boop -- from Jack’s arms and said, “I agree.”

“Jesus, well what do you want her to call me?”

Bitty said, “I was thinking Uncle Poopy, maybe?”

Jack snorted. A legitimate loud snort, and then said, “I like it, Bits. I like it a lot.” Bitty and Jack exchanged a fist bump.

Shitty frowned even deeper, thought about it and then began to laugh loudly. “Oh, for chrissake. Fine, I’ll be Beep Boop’s Uncle Poopy.”

“I’m not sure how much of an improvement that is,” Alicia said, “but it will do.”

Just then Celly began to bark and the doorbell rang.

“Oh! That should be mama and Coach,” Bitty said as he ran to the door.

Shitty plopped down on the couch, and Goon jumped up next to him, staring intently, tail swishing angrily.

"Brah, your cat freaks me the fuck out."

"Goon is a sweetheart," Jack said.

"Bitty named it _Goon_."

Jack picked her up and swung Goon over his shoulder. She purred, and then hissed at Shitty.

“Aren’t you worried about it hurting Beep Boop?”

“She’s been sleeping under Giselle’s bassinet since we brought her home from the hospital. She’s something like a feline bodyguard.”

Jack could hear Coach’s loud voice coming from the hallway. He put Goon down on the couch and walked toward the front door.

Shitty looked at Goon, who then began growling while staring at Shitty.

“Where is she? Where’s my grandbaby?” Suzanne called out as she walked into the living room. 

“Hi, Suzanne,” Jack said extending his arms. Suzanne gave him a quick hug.

“Jack! Congratulations, sweetie. Now let me see my little Giselle.”

Alicia walked over to Suzanne, and said, “Here she is! Ready to see her memaw.”

Suzanne cried as she held Beep Boop, “Oh my! Look at her. Will you look at her?” 

She sniffed and then looked around the room, “Oh...hi, everyone. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to ignore y’all.”

Coach walked up behind Suzanne, “Well, there she is. Dicky, she looks like you! Will you look at that.”

Soon, everyone was eating, drinking coffee and mimosas, and enjoying one another’s company. Rans and Holster had Skyped to wish Beep Boop a happy belated birthday. 

Dex also called with well wishes and said, “Nursey is out promoting his latest book, so he’s in San Francisco right now -- but he said he’d call you tomorrow. He wrote a poem for Giselle that he wants to read over the phone.” 

Coach was chatting it up with Bob. 

“So how does it feel to be a member of the grandpa club, Bob?”

“You tell me! Like heaven. Our boys are happy, they have their own little family. What else could we ask for?”

“I’ll be right back,” Jack said.

When Jack returned with his camera, he surveyed the room. 

His maman had Beep Boop in her arms, while Suzanne leaned over and softly kissed her head. Coach and Bob were on the balcony smoking a cigar. Shitty was sitting in Lardo’s lap at the kitchen table, as he whispered something in her ear which caused her to laugh and punch his arm, and Bitty––– well Bitty was looking right at him, smiling.

 _This is what it’s supposed to be like_ , Jack thought and then said, “Can everyone gather around for a picture?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple shorter chapters, with next chapters posting on Thursday. This has been so much fun to write and I love all you guys for being so sweet about it. As always, thanks to Ngozi for creating these characters.
> 
> What I imagine [Goon](http://karomel-02.tumblr.com/post/155826147580/aprillikesthings-dancing-little-shit) to look like. Hilarious.


	5. Chapter 5

Just one more moment in Jack Laurent Zimmerman’s life where he is overjoyed that he is raising a child with Eric Richard Bittle:

Jack comes in from the grocery store, laden with tote bags, Celly and Goon already at his feet begging for the food they know is in those bags.

He plops the bags onto the counter and can hear the sound of water splashing in the bathroom.

Then he can hear Bitty’s voice. He’s singing something, but can’t quite make it out.

He walks over to the bathroom, and the door is slightly ajar. He peeks through the crack and inside sees Bits, leaning over Beep Boop, giving her a bath in her tiny tub which sits within the bathtub.

And Bitty is singing to Beep Boop, who stares up at him.

“Who run the world? Girls!  
Who run this motha? Girls!  
Who run the world? Girls!”

Bitty leans down further and kisses the sole of Beep Boop’s foot, and he continues.

“It's hot up in here  
DJ don't be scared to run this, run this back  
I'm repping for the girls who taking over the world  
Have me raise a glass for the college grads!”

Bitty stops singing to wring out the washcloth, and then keeps going once again, very softly and sweetly.

“Who run the world? Girls!  
Who run this motha? Girls!  
Who run the world? Girls!”

Jack smiles, that’s all the can do. He doesn’t intrude on this private moment between Bitty and their daughter. This is theirs and theirs alone. He’s just lucky to catch a glimpse.

He tiptoes back to the kitchen to unpack the bags.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beyoncé's [Run the World](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBmMU_iwe6U).


	6. Chapter 6

Bitty hadn’t noticed when it first began, but definitely noticed when it continued. Señor Bun was magically finding his way inside Beep Boop's bassinet. He had put her down for a nap, when he noticed Señor Bun’s ear sticking out from under the black blanket Lardo had knitted.

Bitty pulled Bun out and dusted him off, taking him back to his bedroom and putting him in the middle of the bed where he belonged.

The next time he found Bun there, he was changing a wet spot on Beep Boop’s bassinet and lo and behold. There he was. Dry, thank goodness. 

“Jack? Are you putting Señor Bun in Beep Boop’s bassinet?”

“No. Why?” Jack replied from the living room where he was currently feeding her.

Bitty furrowed his brow, “Curiouser and curiouser.”

He walked toward the living room and paused when he heard Jack singing softly to her. Beep Boop’s bottle dwarfed in Jack’s hand. He sat in their rocking chair, and continued, “ _Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques. Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?_ ”

Bitty paused in the hallway, smiling and Jack continued, “ _Sonnez les matines, sonnez les matines. Ding ding dong, ding ding dong._ ”

“Jack Laurent Zimmermann,” Bitty said sweetly.

Jack looked up and blushed.

“That is the most darling thing I have ever witnessed.”

“Bits, you’re making me blush.” Jack continued to rock back and forth. Beep Boop’s eyes closed slowly.

“And it’s way more appropriate than what I sing to her,” Bitty said with a small chuckle and he leaned down on his haunches next to them. “I like singing Jolene to her, among other things.”

“The Dolly Parton song?” Jack asked laughing softly.

Bitty nodded and said, “I just think it’s funny singing that to a baby. ‘Jolene, Jolene, please don't take him just because you can. Your beauty is beyond compare…’”

Jack smirked, “That is funny.”

Bitty reached up and stroked Jack’s face. “Why don’t you take a nap, too? You have practice tomorrow, and you should rest up. I’ll put her to bed.”

Jack nodded, as he rose and passed Beep Boop over to Bitty. Bitty tossed Señor Bun on the rocking chair and followed Jack into their bedroom. 

He placed Beep Boop in her bassinet as Jack settled onto the bed. He then reached out toward Bitty. 

“Lie down with me?”

Bitty bit his lip and nodded. He curled into Jack as Jack spooned him. Jack dozed off instantly, and as Bitty lay there hearing both Jack’s and Beep Boop’s deep breaths, Celly suddenly came in with Señor Bun in his mouth and unceremoniously tossed him into the bassinet.

“Why you little stinker,” Bitty whispered and laughed. Celly then jumped up onto the foot of the bed, walked in a tight circle and then settled down to nap with his masters.

Bitty closed his eyes and was soon asleep as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, you cannot tell me this isn't Beep Boop's diaper bag. It's too perfect:
> 
>   
>    
> 


	7. Chapter 7

**@omgcheckpls** Presenting Giselle Bittle-Zimmermann. ♡♡ Fur sibs Goon  & Celly welcome her home. @realJLZimmermann #daddies #ourdaughter bit.ly/7x45li

 **@omgcheckpls** Thanks to Beep Boop's #NHL uncles for the awesome care package they sent. They hooked her up! #NHLswag #ourdaughter #babygifts bit.ly/9x5yp

 **@omgcheckpls** Burning the midnight oil with our fussy sleeper. #beepboop #giselle #fatherhood #worthit bit.ly/4n97p

 **@omgcheckpls** How much spit up does one little body have? Good lord! #GottaChangeAgain #fatherhood #beepboop 

**@omgcheckpls** When papa is off for a long string of roadies. (`A´) We’ll miss you @realJLZimmermann #WavesHankyDramatically #fatherhood #LifeontheRoad 

**@realJLZimmermann** Tonight's hat trick was in honor of Giselle BZ. Je t'aime : )

 **@omgcheckpls** @realJLZimmermann Well that was the cutest thing ever. You made a smiley face! #BeepBoop #AHattyFromPapa _X_ 

**@TheKentParson** @realJLZimmermann Who is Giselle? You and Eric split up? #LOL #justkidding 

**@TheKentParson** Congrats on the baby @realJLZimmermann @omgcheckpls 

**@TheKentParson** Is this thing on? Congrats on your baby @realJLZimmermann @omgcheckpls #WTF

 **@realJLZimmermann** Congrats on your baby @omgcheckpls @realJLZimmermann @TheKentParson Thanks, Parse. We’re over the moon with our little family. #

 **@omgcheckpls** Thx

 **@TheKentParson** Thx? Just Thx? #whydopeoplehavetobelikethat

 **@TheKentParson** ok then @omgcheckpls. Urwlcme. Should I even bother sending the gift? I already have it. 

**@omgcheckpls** I’ll let you know if we ever need that case of Axe Body Spray. #JustKidding #BlessYourHeart

**+**

“Of course, I wasn’t kidding. You saw I added a bless your heart in there. If that loon thinks he can buy my baby girl a gift, he’s got another thing coming. Lord, he just can’t quit.”

Lardo laughed on the other end of the line, “Why did you even bother replying to his tweet?”

“Aw, Jack asked me to. He said that we both knew what a dick Parson was trying to be, but that I’d end up being the one to look like the jerk if I didn’t reply.” 

Bitty shrugged even though Lardo couldn’t see him.

“Damn it. He has a point, I guess. But bro, I love how it was just a ‘Thx’ -- no punctuation or anything. Nice!”

“Well, he’s lucky he got that much.”

“Heh. So how’s the kid?” Lardo asked.

“Good! Sleeping near the ovens. Michael keeps popping his head back there to make sure she’s okay. I told him she’s fine. I have the monitor up at the front of the bakery with me and I keep checking on her. She likes it back there, it’s so toasty.”

“She’s practically Gretel, Bits.”

“Oh, I gotta go. I hear Gretel waking up.”

**+**

**@omgcheckpls** Take Your Daughter to Work Day today so #BeepBoop was @bittysboulangerie with me. Oh wait! EVERY day is TYDTWD. #fatherhood #ShesWorthIt 

**@TheKentParson** Can’t @realJLZimmermann afford a nanny? Should I speak to someone in the #NHL offices about that? #SendBittleHelp

 **@theBigHoltz** @TheKentParson Maybe whatever 19 y.o. mimbo you’re currently seeing is interested in the job after school? #theglovesareoff #notonmywatch

 **@ChowDownGoalie** @TheKentParson I’m sure that Jack can afford a nanny but they just choose not to have one. They are very hands on parents.

 **@BadBobZimmermann** @TheKentParson What interesting tweets you have been posting, son. Would you like me to call and discuss them with you further?

**+**

The next evening, Beep Boop was in her basket on the kitchen counter while Bitty was forming some meatballs for dinner. Jack would be home in about an hour or two, and Bitty couldn’t wait to see him again. One, because he really missed his Canadian Hockey God, and two, he just _really_ wanted to have a good night’s sleep. Lord, just one night for now and he’d be set. 

Goon sat on the counter, next to Beep Boop’s moses basket, and while Bitty normally would not allow this, he was too tired to give a shit.

Then there was a knock on the door. Bitty looked at the clock, and knew it couldn’t be Jack. He wiped his hands on his apron, moved the mixing bowl over to the stove and looked at Goon. 

“Watch her,” he said.

When he opened the door, there was a delivery person with a basket wrapped in cellophane in one hand and a bunch of pink balloons in the other. Celly poked his head out the door and sniffed the basket.

“Delivery for Eric Zimmermann and Jack Bittle?”

“Oh,” Bitty smiled. “How lovely!”

“Sign here.”

Bitty took the basket and balloons and walked into the house. Celly followed furiously wagging his tail. 

“Eric Zimmermann and Jack Bittle,” Bitty chuckled. “That’s just silly!”

He plopped the basket onto the counter and looked at Beep Boop, “Giselle, you got a present. Yes, you did, sweet girl.”

Goon looked up at the balloons with great interest.

Bitty unwrapped the cellophane and inside was a box of maple candy, a pink hockey puck, and a cat stuffed animal wearing a tiny… Aces t-shirt?

He exhaled slowly and he grabbed the card, trying to not lose his cool, because lord help him if he was going to drop an f-bomb in front of his baby girl. Not today, Satan. Not today.

> _Giselle,_
> 
> _Here’s a little something for the precious daughter of two of my most favorite parents out there. If anyone can make parenthood work, it’s your two sexxxxxxy dads. You are all sooo terrific!_
> 
> _xoxoxo_
> 
> _Your Uncle Kenny_  
> 

Bitty read the card and muttered, “Your Uncle Kenny...”

He grabbed the cat, the candy and puck, walked over to the trashcan, stepped on the lever, and plopped them right in. 

Bitty then reached into the cutlery drawer, took the balloons, walked out onto the balcony, gently closed the door behind him, and popped each one quickly with his paring knife. 

_Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!_

_Pop!_

He exhaled loudly once, tossed the strings over the balcony, tucked his hair back into place, and returned inside.

“Bless his heart,” Bitty said as he returned to the kitchen and grabbed the bowl of ground beef from the stove to continue making dinner.

**+**

“Bits?”

“Hmmm?” he replied from the couch, where he was currently sprawled out watching The Great British Cooking Show, balancing a glass of wine on his chest with one hand, petting Celly with the other; Beep Boop asleep in her room.

“Why is there a stuffed animal in the trash?”

“Reasons,” Bitty replied calmly, but Jack was well aware of what that level of calm in Bitty’s voice meant.

Jack stared at the cat; its face covered in red sauce and leftover spaghetti strands.

“Okay,” Jack replied, as the garbage can lid closed slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Kent!


	8. Chapter 8

The first time Jack took Beep Boop to Fruit of the Loom Arena, it’s Guy who rushes up to meet him at the locker room entrance. Guy, the guy who always frowns at everyone, is there all up in Jack’s face.

“Is this the baby?” Guy asked as he dropped his shin pads on the locker room floor, and reached his hands out toward Beep Boop.

“Yes, this is her. I brought her in today since Bitty is at home having an afternoon to himself. I have a meeting with George and she said I could bring the baby…”

And then Jack stops talking when he realizes that Guy isn’t even listening, he’s busy making goofy faces at Beep Boop.

“Uh… do you want to hold her?” 

“How do you unbuckle this thing?” Guy asked already holding Beep Boop’s fingers.

Jack got her out of the Babybjörn and passed her off to Guy as he said, “I’ll be in George’s office if you–––”

Guy walked away with Beep Boop in his arms before Jack had even finished the sentence.

**+**

“So how’s fatherhood treating you, Jack?”

“Great! Beep Boop is such a good baby, I mean I haven’t had much experience with babies but from what we’ve heard and read, it seems like Bits and I lucked out.”

“Beep Boop?” George asked with a smirk.

“Haha, yeah...Shitty gave her her nickname. It’s based on an inside joke. That, and he finds her nose boopable.”

“Boopable, you say?” George’s smirk grew even larger.

“Okay, well now you’re just embarrassing me, George.”

“How’s Bitty?”

“Good. Really good. He takes Beep Boop to the bakery with him on the days he goes in. Right now he’s only working three days a week. We’re lucky he has reliable and capable help there.”

“It must be tough being on the road a lot,” she said, watching him closely.

Jack shrugged, “We knew what we were getting into. It’s tough, but we Skype and when I’m home I spend as much as time I can with Bitty and Beep Boop. It’s not as if I’m the only guy on the team with a family. The other guys have managed. I will, too.”

“Good,” George said with a smile. “Jack, I want you to do something for me.”

“Sure.”

“I want you, Bitty, and the baby to go somewhere for All-Star break. Can you do that for me?”

Jack furrowed his brow. 

“Listen, I know you love your family and you love your NHL family. We love you too, and just want to see you happy and relaxed. I know you’d still be thinking of the team and work during break if you stay in town and maybe even try to come in, so please––– go away, will you?”

“Yes,” Jack smiled, “Yes, you’re absolutely right. Thanks for thinking of us like this.”

When Jack returned to the locker room, Guy was nowhere to be found. Normally, Jack wouldn’t really care about anyone’s whereabouts but now he was feeling anxious not knowing where his daughter was.

« Marty, » Jack asked. « Have you seen Guy? »

« I think he was heading over to the rink, » Marty replied.

Jack began to walk quickly toward the rink when he heard several voices coming from the opposite hallway.

He got closer and saw Snowy, Tater, Guy and Thirdy all cooing and talking to Beep Boop.

“I don’t understand why Zimmboni give you nickname Beep Boop,” Tater said, looking at her as if waiting for a response. He smiled then said, “You little _lapochka_.”

“She sure is cute,” Thirdy said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve held one as small as this cutie.”

“Yeah, and now you can quit hogging her,” Snowy said. “I want to carry her, too.”

Guy frowned, “I need to take her back. Zimmermann is going to think I kidnapped his kid.”

These four giant men, reduced to cooing and pet names by a tiny human being who couldn’t even talk yet. Jack smiled and all he could think was how sorry he felt for any future admirers Beep Boop might have. 

They would all have her Hockey Uncles to deal with first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lapochka = sweetie pie


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of smut. Just a tad. A wee bit.  
>  _*does Snoopy dance*_

Bitty can’t remember the last time he and Jack had sex. It might have been two weeks ago? Maybe three? And considering how they are, how they can’t keep their hands off one another, how obsessed they can become with each other, that is really saying something.

Jack was on his way home from a skate, and the planets had seemed to align. Bitty had taken the afternoon off from the bakery, Beep Boop had gone down easily for her afternoon nap, even Celly and Goon were dozing together on one of the pet beds. 

Bitty showered, brushed his teeth, poured two glasses of wine and was now on the couch waiting for Jack to come home. 

Bitty settled into the couch, reading _Be the Dad She Needs You to Be_ , when he realized he kept reading the same sentence over and over again.

He sat up, put the book down and yawned. 

“Good lord,” he said as he rubbed his eyes. “Come on, Jack. Where are you?” 

They had planned it out that morning. Bitty would have Beep Boop go down for her nap a little later so that she’d still be sleep by the time Jack got home and they’d be able to have some special adult alone time. Lord knows they could both use it.

The other day, Bitty walked out of the shower with a towel around his waist and Jack was so distracted he forgot he was in the middle changing Beep Boop’s diaper. She peed all over the bed. And when Jack came in from a run, flushed and sweaty, breathing hard and stretching his quads by the front door -- Bitty got so hard so fast just by looking at him, he felt dizzy. 

Of course, neither had time to act on any of those impulses so, good lord, today would be the day. 

When Jack finally made it home (Thanks a lot I-95 for the sudden inexplicable cock blocking traffic!) he opened the front door quietly. There was no barking, no meowing, no crying. That was a good sign. He put his duffle bag down, and slipped out of his yellow gym shoes.

Jack tiptoed to the living room and saw the back of Bitty’s head on the couch.

“I’m home, Bits,” he said then walked over toward him with a big smile on his face only to have the smile instantly fall upon seeing Bitty fast asleep, mouth partially opened, a drop of dribble on his Zimmermann shirsey.

Jack contemplated his sleeping Bitty, then smiled once again. He swooped down, scooped his husband into his arms, and walked toward the bedroom.

“Hey, honey," Bitty said, eyes barely opening."I’m awake. I promise."

“Sleep, Bitty,” Jack said as he kissed him on the forehead and tucked him into bed. Bitty snuggled in, and fell asleep once again.

Jack took a quick peek at Beep Boop who was still fast asleep in her room, went to the kitchen, made himself a PBJ, picked up Bitty’s book from the couch, sat down with a small sigh, and began reading.

**+++**

“Yeah, yeah… oh god, right there,” Bitty moaned.

“There?”

The moist heat building between them was almost too much. Bitty often found himself drowning in it; grasping and pulling, for anything and everything. Their frantic kisses, broken only by their heavy breathing. Bitty moaned even louder.

“Lord, Jack. Yes! If you fucking move an inch away from there, I’ll punch your butt!”

Jack laughed. “You like that, eh?” 

And then his laughter died down once Bitty slammed his hips up to meet Jack’s. 

Bitty had always been in great shape, no question, but Jack found himself praying to the figure skating gods whenever he got reminders of how fucking flexible Bits was. And right now, as Bitty easily flung his leg over Jack’s shoulder, Jack was particularly pious. 

Bitty leaned up and bit into Jack’s neck, as Jack thrust forward, feeling the glorious inevitable end approaching, and then… Beep Boop began to cry, and they both ceased all movement. 

They stared at each other momentarily, as she continued crying.

Bitty shook his head quickly and wrapped his arms around Jack’s neck, “Shh, shh, shh! She’ll be fine. I promise.” 

He pressed hot, open mouth kisses onto Jack lips and murmured, “I promise.”

All became silent once again, and Jack was able to relax and fall back under Bitty’s spell, gripping Bitty’s hips so tightly, Jack knew he was leaving bruises.

Then Beep Boop decided she was done fucking around. She unleashed a blood curdling scream, that shocked Jack and Bitty. 

“Whoa,” Jack said. “She is not kidding, is she?”

“Good lord!” 

They both sighed and separated. By now Celly was barking, and Goon jumped on their bed to curiously stare at them. It was one of her most favorite pastimes.

Jack began to get up from the bed, and Bitty stopped him.

“I’ll go, sweetheart. Poor cutie pie probably just needs a diaper change.”

Jack sat back in the bed, and watched Bitty as he bent down to pick up his underwear, and sashayed out the bedroom. 

“ _Crisse_ , you’re hot. Look at you,” Jack called out. 

He poked his head back in the room and said, “Don’t go anywhere, handsome.”

“I won’t,” Jack replied. 

When Bitty left the room, Jack lowered himself onto the bed and exhaled loudly. 

“Wow,” he said to himself. 

He then looked over to Goon who continued to stare at him. Jack patted her head and said, “Perv.”

Beep Boop was still screaming her head off when Bitty walked into her dimly lit room. He turned on the lamp on her dresser, and picked her up.

“What’s going on, little mama? This better be good, because your papa and I were having a very important meeting,” he said with a smile on his face

Her pajamas were completely soaked. As were her sheets.

“Aw, my little pumpkin pie. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Bitty changed the baby’s sheets, gave her a bottle, and rocked her till she drifted off again with Goon and Celly asleep in the room. 

Bitty kissed her forehead gently, then put her in her crib. He grinned and happily ran back to the bedroom ready to pounce on Mr. Jack Zimmermann once again...and again...and hell, again.

“I’m back, sweet---”

He stopped in his tracks upon finding Jack completely and utterly asleep. Snoring, even.

“Jack? Jack?”

Bitty sighed and climbed back into bed, quickly falling asleep next to Jack, his head resting on his shoulder.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>   
> 

“Well, she’s just darling. How old is she now?” The cute little octogenarian woman who came in every Thursday for Mini Pie Thursdays asked Bitty as he poured her some more coffee. (“You can call me Sal,” she yelled at Bitty once as she took a bite of rhubarb pie.) 

Beep Boop hung from Bitty’s chest nestled in the Babybjörn he was wearing. She was a good baby for the most part, and enjoyed the constant motion of being worn by Bitty, kicking her legs excitedly throughout the day.

“Thank you, Sal. She’s my precious little angel. Three-months-old now,” Bitty beamed. “And already almost sleeping through the night.”

Just then Michael called out from the counter, “Boss? Your husband’s on the line.”

“Excuse me,” Bitty said. 

He walked over to the phone, and leaned against the wall as he purred into the line, “And to what do I owe this pleasure, Mr. Zimmermann?”

“I have a surprise for you and Beep Boop, and I couldn’t wait to tell you.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve been planning it for almost a week now, but it’s all set and needed to tell you immediately.”

Bitty smiled as Beep Boop tried grabbing the phone cord and began gurgling. 

“Do tell, handsome.”

“We’re going to St. Martin for All-Star break.”

“What?”

“I’m taking us to the Caribbean for a few days.”

“Are you kidding me, Jack?”

“We leave the morning after the game. I have it all planned. I even have pet sitters lined up for Celly and Goon.”

“Oh my god!” Bitty yelled excitedly, startling Beep Boop who then began to cry.

Jack chuckled, “Did you just scare Beep Boop?”

“Shit -- oops, sorry baby girl. Daddy said shoot not shit, I promise. Jack honey, I gotta go. See you home. Love you!”

“I love you, too.” 

**+++**

“You know when you’re traveling and you’re like, ‘Oh lord, please don’t let a smelly person sit next to me. Or worse yet, a baby.’”

Jack nodded as he pushed their luggage through the airport.

“Honey, that’s us.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, and depending on what kind of day this one is having we could be both the baby people _and_ the smelly people!”

“Haha.”

“Haha, Jack. Haha, indeed.”

They checked their bag, got their boarding passes, and proceeded to the TSA line, which held a pleasant surprise. Families with infants and small children had a separate much shorter line.

Bitty smiled at Jack, “Well, this little lady is coming in handy.”

“Passports?”

Bitty handed the TSA agent all three passports (two American, one Canadian). The agent looked at Bitty’s and Beep Boop’s, then looked at Jack’s and did a quick double take. The briefest of smiles flashed across his face, and then returned to formal agent status once again.

“Enjoy your trip,” he said, face completely neutral. “Good job at the All-Star Game. Next!” 

Jack smiled and nodded.

Beep Boop dozed quietly while they made their way through security and to the first class lounge near their gate. Jack placed Beep Boop’s diaper bag on the floor as they settled into a couch with a big exhale, just as Bitty’s cell began to ring.

“Yes?” Bitty answered quickly so as not to wake the baby.

Jack looked at Bitty who had Beep Boop nestled on one shoulder, the phone on the other. He stroked Bitty’s cheek and then scooped Beep Boop up to let Bitty continue his call. Bitty winked at him quickly and mouthed _thank you_.

“Oh, no worries, Michael. It’s fine. Yes, get five cases -- but if they look like they are going to grow fur coats by the day after tomorrow then don’t even bother. If the peaches smell good, go ahead and get some of those. Thanks again. And remind Rosa to lock the door to the basement. She always forgets, and we have those darn raccoon still trying to break in. Thanks!”

Bitty ended the call with a smile. He’s thankful once again that he has loyal people he trusts at the bakery, and feels confident going away for a couple days. Even his usual customers had wished him a good trip, and Sal asked for a photo of the baby on the beach.

“Excited?”

“Mmm, yes. Our little mermaid will be having fun in the sun, we’ll be eating and drinking, drinking and eating, you’ll be half naked the entire time. Lord, yes!”

Jack smiled, “We have a private beach outside our bungalow.”

“So we’re on the French side of the country, right?”

“ _Oui_. You’ll love it. It’s very small, and very friendly. We can practically walk to the Dutch side.”

“Esprit Airlines Flight 1212 to St. Martin is now pre-boarding. First class passengers, and passengers traveling with small children are asked to proceed to Gate A32.”

**+++**

Bitty and Jack settled into their seats while Beep Boop still dozed. As the passengers continued to board, several stopped to momentarily gawk at Jack once they realized he was on their flight.

“Would you care for some champagne?” The flight attendant asked.

“Orange juice, please?” Jack replied.

“I’ll have some champagne!” Bitty exclaimed.

Bitty wagged his eyebrows at Jack, and Jack smiled.

“Go on with your vacation self, Bits.”

Beep Boop stirred, still sleeping, in Bitty’s arms.

“Do you think she’ll keep sleeping the rest of the flight?”

“Seems like it, or at least most of it,” Jack said as he took a quick selfie with Bitty and Beep Boop in the background.

 **@realJLZimmermann** Giselle’s first plane ride! Let's hope it's an easy one. @omgcheckpls #allstarbreak #familytime bit.ly/x570qgf23

People continued to board the aircraft and smiled at Beep Boop as they walked by. When he had a chance, Jack opened the overhead bin and reached for a book (he was finally reading _The Devil in the White City_ ) from inside the diaper bag. 

“Do you want your French book?”

Bitty had taken to trying to learn French in earnest, since Jack had said Beep Boop would be bilingual. He didn’t want to be left out of any conversations.

“No, I’m good. Plenty of time for verb conjugations on the beach.”

Jack smiled and said, “Let me know when your arms are tired and you want me to take her.” 

“Sure thing, honey.”

Just as the door to the plane was closing, Beep Boop began to wake. 

“Hey there, sweet girl,” Bitty said as Beep Boop scrunched her face and looked up at her daddy.

**+++**

Who knew Giselle Bittle-Zimmermann had such strong lungs? Who, indeed? Well, everyone on Esprit Airlines flight 1212 now knew, that’s who. 

Every single person. Even the pilot. Even the poor guy in the last seat all the way in the back next to the lavatories. 

It started out harmless enough. Once they were taxiing the runway, Beep Boop opened her eyes and gave herself a full body stretch. 

“Hey, there sweet girl,” Bitty said as Beep Boop scrunched her face and looked up at her daddy.

She frowned, gave a tiny burp, and then began to whimper.

As the plane took off, and the air pressure in the cabin increased, Beep Boop’s face grew scrunchier.

“Jack?”

“What’s wrong with her face, Bits?”

_10,000 feet_

Beep Boop’s face grew red, she took a deep breath and then…

_20,000 feet_

….wailed as if she was trying to earn a gold medal in it.

_30,000_

“Good lord!” Bitty said as he picked her up from his lap and rocked her back and forth.

Fifteen minutes later, Jack was rocking Beep Boop as Bitty smoothed circles on her back. The passengers around them began to shoot glances their way. Jack could feel his face burning. 

“Sorry,” he said to the man across from him who gave him a curt nod, and snapped open his copy of Financial Times.

“Maybe she’s hungry again?” Jack suggested.

Bitty pressed the Flight Attendant call button.

“Yes?”

“Could you please warm up our daughter's bottle for her? It's in the outer side pocket of her diaper bag, in the overhead bin.”

“Certainly,” he said. The flight attendant opened the bin, quickly pulled out the bottle, and ran off.

“Should I go change her diaper?” Jack asked.

They looked up and the fasten seatbelt light was still on.

“Does she feel wet?”

“I don’t think so, but maybe she just wants a fresher butt?”

The flight attendant returned with the bottle.

“Once the fasten seatbelt light is off, I’ll take her to the bathroom.”

“I can do it, Bits.”

“No, you big giant. You won’t have room in there with the changing table down.”

Bitty tasted a drop to check the temperature, and handed Jack the bottle.

“Ugh, that is so nasty.”

Beep Boop continued to wail as Jack placed her supine on his lap. She took the bottle and stopped crying momentarily.

“Well, that seemed to work,” Bitty said. Beep Boop pushed out the bottle and unleashed a scream that would make a berserker recoil.

“ _Crisse_ ,” Jack said under his breath, “What the what?!”

Bitty leaned over and scooped her up, as he and Jack exchanged worried looks.

 **+++**

One hour later, Beep Boop was not letting up. By this point, Jack was walking up and down the aisles from the front of the plane, all the way to the back, bouncing her gently in his arms while being barraged with angry stares left and right.

“Shh, shh, shh, _ma petite patate_ …” he repeated over and over, Beep Boop still crying like it was going out of style. 

When he passed a small older woman sitting in an aisle seat, she looked at him with pity and said, “Poor boy, would you like me to try? I have 12 grandchildren.”

Jack smiled, feeling his face burning with embarrassment, “Oh...no, I couldn’t impose. But thank you.”

“Well, if you change your mind. Really. I _insist_.”

By his fourth turn, Bitty came up and said, “Do you want to switch off?” 

A man in a seat next to them gave Bitty a dirty look as Beep Boop’s cry rose an octave.

Bitty stared at him with all the coldness of a Montreal blizzard and shot back, “First, excuse you. What? Like you were never a baby? Second, you’re _not_ excused.”

“I’m good. Go sit down, Bits. We’ll come with you,” Jack said trying to placate both Bitty and Beep Boop.

“Oh, don’t you give me that look, Jack Zimmermann!”

Bitty turned back to walk toward their seats, and turned back once more to give the man a death glare. In the art of throwing shade, Eric Richard Bittle was a mother fucking master.

As they made their way to the front of the plane, they heard someone call out, “That’s why I am Aces fan!”

Bitty whipped his head around so quickly, Jack thought it was going to spin 360 like the Exorcist.

“Bits, keep walking. _Calisse_ , just keep walking,” Jack mumbled.

**+++**

Two painful hours later (with a 30 minute intermission), it seemed Giselle had finally given up. Whether it was the pressure in her ears, an upset tummy, just a bad freaking mood, no one was sure.

Bitty and Jack were exhausted and mentally drained and they hadn’t even left the aircraft yet. Jack bought a drink for everyone on the plane, as an apology.

When they finally touched down in St. Martin, people in the back of the plane actually applauded. 

“Really?” Bitty said as he turned his head to look toward the back. “Really?!”

“They might be applauding about something else,” Jack said quietly.

“She’s a baby! That’s what babies do. And you didn’t need to apologize for a baby doing what babies do, Jack,” Bitty said as he gently bounced a now quiet Beep Boop on his lap.

“I know, Bits. I just don’t want people complaining on Twitter about the loud hockey baby who wouldn’t hush. It’s not her fault she's an auditory goon.”

“Damn straight,” Bitty said as he threw back the last of his champagne.

Jack and Bitty jumped up from their seats the second the unfasten seat belt light went out. Once the cabin door opened, everyone else in first class let them exit first. By now, Beep Boop was the picture of angelic calm.

Jack grabbed the diaper bag from the overhead bin and they quickly made their way down the jetway.

“Don’t look back, Bits. Just keep going,” Jack said placing his hand on the small of his husband’s back. “Go, go, go!”

Bitty remained silent as they practically sprinted toward the gate, Beep Boop bopping along in her daddy’s arms noiselessly trying to focus on her fathers’ faces. They were quiet until they were well out of the jetway and well inside the bowels of Princess Juliana International Airport. 

Jack and Bitty slowed down at the same time, stopped and stared into each other’s eyes for a few moments before their harried expressions turned into smiles and they began to laugh, unable to stop.

Bitty grabbed at Jack’s arm, and in between wheezes cried out, “Jesus Marian Hossa! What the hell, Jack? What the hell?!”

Jack was holding his stomach, his face completely red, still unable to speak as his body shook with laughter. 

“Oh my god, Bitty,” he finally spat out. “I thought I was going to have to bail you out of airport jail! I swear you looked like you were going to drop your gloves and beat the hell out of that one guy.”

“I wasn’t so sure I _wasn’t_ going to kick his ass. And you! Auditory goon! Good lord!"

They both cackled some more and Bitty finally sighed and said, "Thanks for calming me down, and having our back, honey.”

When they fully regained their composure, Jack picked up the diaper bag, Bitty leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and reached for his hand. Beep Boop gurgled happily.

“I love you, you damn trouble maker,” Jack said sweetly teasing Bitty.

“ _Je t'aime,_ Jack."

Jack grinned at Bitty, as they made their way toward immigration holding hands tightly.


	11. Chapter 11

“Bitty, you outdid yourself with this cake!” Lardo said as she poured coffee in the mugs Bitty had put out.

Bitty carefully placed the cake on the table, as Suzanne walked up behind him with two white candles.

“You really did, Dicky,” she said placing the candles on the cake. She then pulled out her phone to take a picture.

Bitty admired his handiwork: a large chocolate sheet cake with cherry filling, covered in vanilla buttercream. Fancy fondant letters in Falconers’ blue spelled out Giselle's name, while _Happy Birthday!_ was piped in yellow frosting across the top. A chocolate hockey puck sat in the middle of the cake, and a tiny marzipan bunny holding a hockey stick stood on top of it. 

“Eric Bittle is the best fucking baker in all of Providence!” Shitty exclaimed proudly as he entered the dining room with Beep Boop on his hip. “That cake is a beaut, Bitty!”

Bitty nodded, “Yeah, it is! No sense in being modest when I know this cake is ‘swawesome.”

Beep Boop’s face lit up as she saw the cake, and she began to clap.

“It’s ‘swawesome, isn’t it? Can you say ‘swawesome for your Uncle Poopy? ‘Swaaaasome?”

Beep Boop threw her head back and giggled, then shook her head at Shitty, “No, Poopy. No.”

“Come on! ‘Swasome?”

She shook her head again and giggled once more, then said quietly, “Sawsum.”

Shitty laughed and said, “That’s my Beep Boop!”

Jack came in with a stack of paper plates saying something to Alicia in French while she carried the ice cream and scoop. He smiled upon seeing Beep Boop and Shitty interacting. 

“Larissa,” Alicia called out, “Can you please tell Bobby and Coach that it’s time to cut the cake? They’re in the study pretending they’re not having a hard time building that Radio Flyer wagon.”

Suzanne laughed, “You can tell them they can continue after the cake, bless their hearts.”

Lardo smirked, “Of course! I’ll bring them right over.”

The crowd gathered to sing Happy Birthday and wish their favorite girl a most glorious day. Jack lit the candles, while Beep Boop bounced up and down on Bitty’s knee. 

“ _Gâteau? Mien?_ ” Beep Boop asked as pointed, her face growing with excitement.

“ _Oui ma belle petite fille. C'est votre gâteau,_ ” Bitty replied. 

Jack put down the lighter and held his camera up to his eye, focusing on Bitty and Beep Boop. Their faces glowing from the candles before them.

Even after all this time, Eric Bittle was the most beautiful person Jack had ever seen. And the complete adoration in his eyes for Giselle made him even lovelier.

Jack recalled their previous evening…

“She was exhausted! Went out like a light, that sweet little girl,” Bitty said as he plopped himself onto the bed. 

“Well, she spent most of the day on the ice today,” Jack said with a smile, and put down his book. 

Beep Boop had taken to ice like a fish to water. Whether it would be in hockey or figure skating, there was no doubt their daughter would live her life on it. She adored watching Bitty do sit spins, clapping and squealing watching her daddy turn and turn. Each time they went to a Falconers game, she was enthralled pointing at the ice; in love with the Zamboni. 

Jack smiled as he looked at his husband, Bitty closed his eyes and exhaled as he sunk into the bed. 8:00 p.m. on a Friday night, and Jack and Bitty were alone. Alone--- well, as alone as two parents with a two-year-old could be.

Jack leaned over and softly stroked Bitty’s abdomen. “Can I get you anything, Bits?”

Bitty hummed and smiled, eyes still closed, “No, this is nice.”

“Are you sure?” Jack said as he rolled over and maneuvered himself quickly to straddle Bitty.

Bitty opened one eye to look up at Jack, then let out a quick laugh. “Well, not if you’re putting it that way.”

Jack leaned down and kissed Bitty’s neck, as Bitty wrapped his arms around Jack, arching slightly. 

“Are you too tired?” Jack asked whispering into Bitty’s ear. 

“For this? Never,” he replied, voice breathy.

Jack dipped down and pressed his lips onto Bitty’s who immediately parted his, licking into Jack’s mouth.

There was absolutely nothing more calming to Jack than allowing himself to be overloaded with the sensation that was Bitty.

“Bits...”

Bitty’s hands slid down to Jack’s back, kneading and pressing.

“Oh god, Bitty,” Jack murmured between hot wet kisses. Bitty smiled into Jack’s lips. 

“I love you so much,” he said.

Jack hummed in agreement, his mind already three paces ahead of his body.

He frantically yanked on Bitty’s pajama pants as Bitty pulled off his t-shirt. In these moments when Jack and Bitty connect, the entire world pauses. And in these spaces of timelessness, the two live within one other making time advance within their own commands, their own urges.

When they were done, spent and languishing in the aftermath of their love, Bitty sighed, resting his head on Jack’s sweaty chest. 

He looked at Jack and said, “I think… that is… do you…”

Jack smiled and said, “Yes? What is it?”

“Well… ha.” Bitty frowned, “I mean…”

“Spit it out, Bits,” Jack said as he ran his fingers gingerly up and down Bitty’s spine.

Bitty smiled, and then propped himself up on his elbows. He bit his lower lip, exhaled once and said, “I think we should have another baby.”

Jack’s gaze flitted across Bitty’s face, he then said with a smirk, “You know this isn’t how babies are made, right Bits?”

“Oh, lord,” Bitty laughed. “Don't you dare chirp me, Zimmermann!”

“Are you serious?” 

“As a heart attack.”

“Giselle is just getting older, we can travel easily, do more than we’ve been able to…”

Bitty looked at Jack, his enormous eyes warm and filled with love.

“And…”

“And?”

Jack thought about it. How wonderful their lives were, how full of laughter and love-- and how much more love they could share. He smirked and said, “And I think Beeps totally needs a sibling. No sense in all three of us being only children.”

“Really, sweetheart?”

“Yes, really!”

“Oh my god, another baby!” Bitty said.

Bitty climbed onto Jack and began excitedly hitting him with a pillow, as the two laughed.

 

“Happy birthday to you!” Everyone sang and clapped.

“Blow the candles, sweet pea,” Bitty said with so much love in his voice.

Jack clicked the shutter, and captured the moment perfectly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Your kudos are like cellies in my soul! Your comments are hatties! :D 
> 
> This is now a series, so look for more domestic parenting fluff from the Bittlemann clan. The series will jump back and forth in time, so rest assured there _will_ be some teenaged Beep Boop shenanigans.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Check, Please!_ characters created by the wonderful [Ngozi](http://omgcheckplease.tumblr.com/).


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